Uh Oh

This is a blog down memory lane. The year is 1997 and the dial up modem is in full effect like Wrex N' Effects (but 5 years later). The world is crazy about the interweb and alladvantage.com is about to revolutionize the way we surf the net. If you can identify with any of the crazy bantar written above, you sir/mam are ready to officially enter dwayne's World.

ZZZZZZZZ, ffffffffffffffff, kkkkkkkkkkkkkk, deeeeee is the keyboard reenactment of a dial up modem. 36 seconds and 28.8k later, you are offically connected to the internet. But before you double click the Internet Explorer icon, a question cuts through the air drowning out the sound of your brother pretending to practice piano in the background. It's your Mom asking you why everytime she hears ZZZZZZZZ, ffffffffffffffff, kkkkkkkkkkkkkk, deeeeee, none of her friends can phone the house. You smile and reply, "Not sure, I guess it's just a busy signal. Kind of like a faxee gay."

With the formalities out of the way, you aim your mouse arrow and proceed to double click your two button, non click wheel, geometrically shaped mouse. It's officially e-mail time. If you're lucky, there will be a message from a buddy who you haven't heard from in a while. And if it's a really good day, you'll get an e-mail with a subject line that looks like this fwd: hilarious jokes. Now it's on like donkey kong. Time to go nuts and laugh out loud.

As the e-minutes tick away, and your Mom's phone calls have mysteriously vanished, a more pressing issue is at hand. It's time to double click the little flower. You know, the yellow centered flower, surrounded by the nonchalant green petals and lonely single red petal. Yep, it's ICQ time. For all you new chat program users (MSN and later), ICQ = I Seek You. Don't act like you're not impressed.

You then login into your user account like this:

ICQ: 53886449
Password: password

After a few revolutions of the single red petal, your e-world is connected. Instant yellow rectangles blitz your 17" CRT monitor. A bombardment of Uh Oh's rip through the speakers giving you all the e-props you need. And so it begins....the beginning of the end. E-minutes tick into E-hours. The sound of birds chirp to the morning sun. "Just a few more minutes Mom, I'm going to fun gow right now!"

dT